Happy Birthday Week to (Captain) America!

People celebrate the Fourth of July in very different ways.-

Every room was the room where it happens.

Roland Emmerich has the distinction of directing both the single most indispensable Fourth of July movie ever made and the single most shitgiggling insane Fourth of July movie ever made, because the man is a confounding enigma. I am of course referring to the blessed duality that is 1996’s Independence Day and 2000’s The Patriot, respectively, and because I am a man of very specific principles, I am going to spend the next few thousand words focusing entirely on the latter. The Patriot, released in June of 2000 and currently available to stream on Netflix, is easily the …